No story is easy to start; no classic "Dark and Stormy Night". This is what rattles around in my head, as I try to start my own personal tale. I am driven to do so in hopes that it will serve as a mild distraction and explanation from the situation I find myself in. Which is redundant, since the story is that of the situation. But it is my life, and what is a blog if not pure vanity. Good or Bad.
So, I sit here, at 3:46 am, at a local Eat N Park. Now on my third cup of coffee after a slice of Peachberry pie. This may be a rare treat. Shelter and monetary stability trump food of any sort - even for a fat man.
I packed up and left home at 3 pm the previous day. At the time it seemed like the best option. Over 12 hours later and its rather hard to make a call on that move. Value and weight are yet to be determined.
The last resort of a fuck-up, as outlined to me many times before. But this time the execution was different. Where last time I had only a destination; this time I only have the transportation. Part of me wants to joke, and let the sarcasm flow. While I may be the biggest screw-up in the family, at least I have consistency! Although it scores nothing for me in the bonus rounds.
Some may see this as an end. Other, as a beginning. I just see a challenge. Neither good or bad, just an end to safety and security. You work with what you have. And I just played my hand. Now I have to wait. To wait and see just how weak of a hand it was.
To keep the sad allusion to poker going... Now wouldn't be a bad time to take stock of my chip count. Shockingly, I'm no high-rolling whale. So I don't see many comped meals and rooms in my future. But I'm not reduced to the penny slots. Nickles will be enough to get by.
Whatever happens now, the bets are made. I knew this day would come. Frankly, I had it coming to me. At some point I gave in, gave up, and rode the wave till it crashed. Buying into what made others feel good. Making a preemptive move seems for the best. Saves some trouble for all involved. And that's what I will tell myself till I find a place to sleep tonight.
There is a lunar eclipse in about a half hour from now. What kind of omen is that?